hey sojourner, your circumstances do not determine the sovereignty of God. trust his word over your feelings. separate emotions from truth. see, there are no right or wrong emotions, all these are understood by God. he may or may not agree with what you feel, but he perfectly understands them all. however, it's that very property of emotions (being neither right or wrong) that invalidates them to be the basis of anything, much less decisions/indications of God's relationship with you.